Social conservatives, fiscal conservatives, the GOP leadership, Sarah Palin's heartland supporters, conservative think-tank intellectuals, D.C. and Manhattan conservatives, Big Business and small-business conservatives, Joe the Plumber conservatives, and every stripe and flavor of conservative in between are all united against the Democrats' proposed government takeover of health care.
It's the left, not the right, cracking up. It's the party donkey, not the elephant, now in a rabies-crazed frenzy. Funny, though, how internecine rancor on the right always puts conservatism in its last, final, permanent death throes, but internecine warfare on the left is merely a matter of healthy, principled disagreement.
Former Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean went on the "YEARRGGH!"-path again - dressed in Tea Party-esque drag - and exhorted the majority to "Kill the Bill" and start over with a public option. White House senior adviser David Axelrod - echoing criticism of Dean more commonly heard on the right - promptly pronounced the Vermont liberal's rantings "insane." White House spokesman Robert Gibbs dismissed Dean as irrational. And this was just the left-wing Punch and Judy show preview.
"Progressive" blogger and Hollywood producer Jane Hamsher declared war on Sen. Joe Lieberman's wife, Haddasah, to punish him for his opposition to Harry Reid's massive Medicare expansion "buy-in" plan.
"Progressive" documentarian Michael Moore one-upped Hamsher's attack by threatening to boycott the entire state of Connecticut until it started a recall of Lieberman: "People of Connecticut: What have u done 2 this country? We hold u responsible. Start recall of Lieberman 2day or we'll boycott your state," Moore wrote on his Twitter account. Recalls, alas, are unconstitutional in Connecticut. Not that "progressives" would ever let any state or federal constitution get in the way of a bloody ideological vendetta.
Obama's BFF and most frequent visitor, SEIU president Andy Stern, threw the president's own words back at him in a cri de couer to Big Labor's brothers and sisters: "President Obama must remember his own words from the campaign. His call of 'Yes We Can' was not just to us, not just to the millions of people who voted for him, but to himself."
And moving toward the middle, moderate Democratic Sen. Ben Nelson is having his own Joe Wilson moment. On Thursday, he announced he couldn't support his colleagues' abortion language "compromise."
Meanwhile, House Democrats are blaming Senate Democrats and the White House for the legislative meltdown. The Nobel Peace Prize winner-in-chief himself has come under fire. Democratic Rep. David Obey of Wisconsin carped that "the Obama administration is sitting on the sidelines." Democratic Rep. John Conyers of Michigan accused the White House of selling out to the insurance industry.
It all feels very 1990s, when liberals smugly declared the premature death of the GOP only to be walloped by the midterm conservative backlash. The ruling majority got greedy, overreached and lost touch with average Americans. With the support of the public, Republicans united to slay Bill Clinton's stimulus monstrosity and Hillary Clinton's health care monstrosity. And the core differences between the parties could not have been clearer.
Then, as now, GOP strategists flirted with hapless "rebranding" programs in the wake of failed presidential campaigns. They bought into the public autopsy reports of their friends in New York City media green rooms and Georgetown parlors.
Then, as now, it took a grassroots conservative groundswell to remind the Beltway bubble boys and girls that adhering to the core principles of fiscal conservatism - lower taxes, less government, more freedom - was the key to party unification and would open the door once again to power.
And then, as now, conservative talk radio helped galvanize the revolt against a Democrat-spearheaded attempt at a government health care takeover.
One major difference now is the vast proliferation of alternative media - through Facebook, Twitter, blogs and Fox News - that has facilitated the spread of information about Democrats' big-government designs and given rise to Tea Party activism. The right's ability to change the narrative is greater than ever. The Democratic crack-up reminds us that there are no faits accomplis in politics. Political coroners, take heed.
Michelle Malkin is the author of "Culture of Corruption: Obama and his Team of Tax Cheats, Crooks & Cronies" (Regnery 2009).