What would we do for amusement if not for Smyrna Mayor Max Bacon? We might read a book of American statesmen, browse through the great literature of the world or immerse ourselves in the deep contemplation of the meaning of life, but it’s so much more fun to watch Mayor Max repeatedly stuffing his very large foot into his very large mouth.
I thought it was impossible to beat the absurdity of Tim Lee’s TSPLOST projects, but I forgot about Mayor Max. Max always brightens the day with his profound absurdities.
The last time I can remember hearing a Polack joke was when I was a little boy. The good mayor brought back fond memories of the fifth grade, or kindergarten, with what he must have thought was a scathing attack on Cobb School Board Chairwoman Kathleen Angelucci by devastatingly calling her “a Polack.” I heard he even called her a cootie and made her cry.
The name “Bacon” is an ancient Anglo-Saxon name and Mayor Max Bacon would certainly call it a good WASP name, or “White Anglo Saxon Protestant.” In the spirit of fun, which I am sure was intended by the mayor, let’s indulge in a few WASP jokes.
Q: How many WASPS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Two to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
Q: What do you call a WASP who doesn’t work for his father, isn’t a lawyer and believes in social causes?
A: A failure.
Q: What did the WASP say to the iron lung patient?
A: Tell me again why you can’t find a job.
Maybe it’s because WASPs are generally the least funny people on the planet and because they spend so much time taking the fun out of everything for everyone else that no one associates WASPs with jokes.
The mayor said he doesn’t like “arguing with Polacks.” Angelucci could justly reply that she doesn’t argue with fools.