Smyrna’s Bacon too ‘WASPy’ to be funny
July 17, 2014 01:48 AM | 2042 views | 3 3 comments | 24 24 recommendations | email to a friend | print

What would we do for amusement if not for Smyrna Mayor Max Bacon? We might read a book of American statesmen, browse through the great literature of the world or immerse ourselves in the deep contemplation of the meaning of life, but it’s so much more fun to watch Mayor Max repeatedly stuffing his very large foot into his very large mouth.

I thought it was impossible to beat the absurdity of Tim Lee’s TSPLOST projects, but I forgot about Mayor Max. Max always brightens the day with his profound absurdities.

The last time I can remember hearing a Polack joke was when I was a little boy. The good mayor brought back fond memories of the fifth grade, or kindergarten, with what he must have thought was a scathing attack on Cobb School Board Chairwoman Kathleen Angelucci by devastatingly calling her “a Polack.” I heard he even called her a cootie and made her cry.

The name “Bacon” is an ancient Anglo-Saxon name and Mayor Max Bacon would certainly call it a good WASP name, or “White Anglo Saxon Protestant.” In the spirit of fun, which I am sure was intended by the mayor, let’s indulge in a few WASP jokes.

Q: How many WASPS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. Two to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

Q: What do you call a WASP who doesn’t work for his father, isn’t a lawyer and believes in social causes?

A: A failure.

Q: What did the WASP say to the iron lung patient?

A: Tell me again why you can’t find a job.

Maybe it’s because WASPs are generally the least funny people on the planet and because they spend so much time taking the fun out of everything for everyone else that no one associates WASPs with jokes.

The mayor said he doesn’t like “arguing with Polacks.” Angelucci could justly reply that she doesn’t argue with fools.

Tony Cain


Comments-icon Post a Comment
Tony Cain
July 17, 2014
What's so sad about this is that mayors and commissioners sometimes want beautiful, expensive and completely unnecessary new schools in their areas not to educate children but to use as selling points for new development.

It's not about the kids, it's about the money.
Billy Edens
July 20, 2014
Hard to believe we are talking about a comment when the issue is there for us all to see...the BOE has put money in other areas of the county and it is obvious. The lack of financial commitment to the school system in south cobb has made many middle class families less apt to settle in the communities close to 285. Remember, it is much easier to demonize your opponent than address and fix the problem. Marietta complains about being a pass through city, well supporting the development of the county schools in Smyrna may fix some of the problem. By the way, I am proud of what Smyrna has accomplished over the last 30 years especially Atlanta Road. Something tells me the mayor will lead the community in developing the city in a responsible way over the coming years with the help of the BOE.
Abernathy T. Jones
July 17, 2014
Excellent!!! Good job....but then again, Max provides easy fodder.
*We welcome your comments on the stories and issues of the day and seek to provide a forum for the community to voice opinions. All comments are subject to moderator approval before being made visible on the website but are not edited. The use of profanity, obscene and vulgar language, hate speech, and racial slurs is strictly prohibited. Advertisements, promotions, and spam will also be rejected. Please read our terms of service for full guides