Our intrepid public servants aren’t worried about such piffles because they know we will keep re-electing them unless they do something weird like former Rep Judy Manning (R-Marietta), who opined that Mormons “scared her” and that MDJ reporter Jon Gillooly had committed “verbal judo” in reporting that fact. Turns out her remarks scared voters more than Mormons scared her and they committed electoral judo on her. Now, Ms. Manning is on the outside looking in like the rest of us.
Whatever else may be on the agenda for our legislators this session, the Cobb delegation will, as always, keep its focus on local issues that can have a profound impact on We the Unwashed. And I will, as always, keep you apprised of their efforts. I like to think that the Cobb legislators and I are a well-oiled machine, working together for you and only you.
Before we all get teary-eyed at the thought, let’s take a closer look at some of the upcoming legislation that is being proposed:
First, the “Chickens are People, Too” Act sponsored by Rep. Earl Ehrhart (R-Powder Springs.) The veteran legislator failed last session with his “Right to Grow” Act which would have allowed citizens to keep chickens in their yard along with honeybees.
The bill was doomed to defeat when roosters were excluded from the legislation. That infuriated rooster boosters everywhere and offended more than a few chickens, too. I’m not quite sure where the honeybees came down on the issue. Honeybees can be very unpredictable.
In fairness to Rep. Ehrhart, I don’t think he truly appreciated the strong bond that exists between chickens and roosters. Few of us do. Hopefully, he has handled that matter with this year’s legislation and we can enjoy our constitutional right to have chickens in our yard. Chances of passage: Good. Fortunately, roosters have a short memory.
The “Splash Red Paint on Those Commies and Give Them a Hammer and Sickle” Act, is a bill put together by Rep. Matt Dollar (R-east Cobb.) When asked during the recent campaign to sign a pledge sponsored by Common Cause Georgia, the Georgia Tea Party Patriots and Georgia Conservatives in Action to support limits on goodies from lizard-loafered lobbyists, Dollar responded, “I’m not going to sign a pledge from any special interest group, especially the Obama Democrat-supported group, Common Cause.”
Common Cause Georgia later gave me an award for nagging legislators on the subject. They also gave the same award to the Tea Party activists for the same reason. And we all know what a bunch of Commies they are. Chances of passage: Poor. Rep. Dollar knows I won’t buy his lunch or take him to a tractor pull if this bill passes.
The “Full of Sound and Fury” Act is the creation of the newest member of the Cobb delegation, Rep. Charles Gregory (R-Kennesaw) who seems intent on filling the role of the late Cobb County legislator Bobby Franklin. Rep. Franklin made a lot of headlines but never got any substantive legislation passed. Gregory’s gun control bill is primarily aimed at impressing those constituents in his district who prefer showboating to effective representation. Chances of passage: About as good as Franklin’s annual efforts to get red clay declared Georgia’s official dirt.
The “Hello, I’m Hunter Hill” Act, an initiative from new State Sen. Hunter Hill (R-6th), who succeeds former Democrat incumbent Doug Stoner. Mr. Stoner, a senator since 2004, wouldn’t return phone calls from the media and is now running a Dairy Queen somewhere. This legislation assures that if I contact Sen. Hill, he will return my phone calls at times other than when he is running for re-election. Chances of passage: Good. I am a constituent of his who writes a newspaper column; plus, politicians love to talk to me because I am fair and balanced.
Finally, there is the “Let’s Go Do the People’s Business Quietly and Effectively While Not Embarrassing Ourselves in the Process” Act, sponsored by Sen. Lindsay Tippens (R-37th). While I admire Sen. Tippens very much, I worry that his colleagues might begin to emulate him and quit saying and doing the exquisite things for which they are so capable and I no longer would have anything fun to write about. That would require me to go get a real job, like being a lizard-loafered lobbyist for rooster boosters. I’m not sure about the bill’s chances of passage, but I can tell you one thing: It scares me worse than Mormons.
You can reach Dick Yarbrough at firstname.lastname@example.org or P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139.