Lauretta Hannon: What to do with jealous pals, a coon dog and fear
October 30, 2012 12:00 AM | 1897 views | 6 6 comments | 6 6 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Q: How do you get people to JUST SHUT UP? Like when you have your keys in one hand, bag slung over your shoulder, walking briskly out the door like a building’s on fire and their jaws are just a’poppin like the balls in the Bingo machine?

A: You keep walking out the door.

Seriously, you are too worried about being nice, and you are letting those folks be inconsiderate of your time. You are training them on how to act around you. Keep walkin’!

***
Q: How do I deal with jealous women friends when you can’t imagine what you did to inspire the behavior?

A: Get better friends. Anyone who is jealous is a poor-quality friend.

***
Q: How do you handle an extremely close friend who you admire and love and look up to and have a very close relationship with telling you that you affect their life negatively, so they are going to have to be your friend more from the sidelines instead of having so much direct connection with you?

A: Let ‘em go. It sounds like you adore this person, so give her the space she needs, and work to understand her perspective.

***
Q: When I write my will, am I morally obligated to leave something to my children, or can I divide it equally among my wife, my mistress and the coon dog?

A: I say the coon dog takes all.

***
Q: There are so many things I want to pursue in life, but I let fear of the unknown and the promise of a steady paycheck hold me back. How can I overcome those to pursue my dreams?

A: When my beloved father died while I was in high school, I posted this Sanskrit saying inside my locker: “Deep in the sea are riches beyond compare, but if you seek safety, it is on the shore.” Determined to get off the shore, I knew I had to focus on living rather than withering, risking rather than fearing, even though I was desperately afraid.

This is what I’ve learned. You make progress over fear by taking a leap of faith and doing the very thing that scares you. Fear is the great deceiver, and you have to prove him wrong. But here’s the cool part: when you leap, the net will appear. (That’s an old Zen expression I love.)

Nothing is stopping you from moving in the direction of your dreams. Start by taking small steps. Dedicate more time to doing things that are related to your passions. Picture yourself at the height of your success in these areas. Make a list of what you need to do to get there. Post your list where you will see it everyday.

Another tip: Think of when you felt most alive, and then think of now. Examine what has changed, and work to get yourself back in balance. Fear takes hold and pumps you with doubt when you are out of balance. So focus on activities and thoughts that are restorative and peaceful.

Finally, here’s a quote that has comforted me over the years: “Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.” — William Hutchinson Murray

Take heart. What you seek is seeking you.

Send your questions to notyourgrannysadvice@gmail.com.

Lauretta Hannon, a resident of Powder Springs, is the bestselling author of The Cracker Queen—A Memoir of a Jagged, Joyful Life and a keynote speaker. Visit her at thecrackerqueen.com.
Comments
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Jamie Wyatt
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October 30, 2012
So glad the Marietta Daily Journal is sharing your wisdom with the masses! I'm hoping for a revival of common sense!
Lauretta Hannon
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October 31, 2012
Thanks, Jamie! Thanks so much for reading.
coker girl
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October 30, 2012
Ahh...all good, but that last one, that one could have been mine. Thanks for the reminder. I think I will print your reply and paste it to the fridge to look at daily when I start to think I'm too old and being foolish to think I can undertake this thing now. I will remember. I will leap.
Lauretta Hannon
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October 30, 2012
I'm honored to think I might make it to the fridge! Thanks much.
Jessica Nettles
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October 30, 2012
I've been wrestling with the leap for a while. Over the last week or so, the message keeps coming back--leap--leap--leap. Apparently, you are now a part of that message. Thanks, Lauretta. <3
Lauretta Hannon
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October 30, 2012
Proud to be a small part of a big message. Now go take a jump! (Well, you know what I mean.)
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