Perspicacity — How can one have New Year’s resolutions without it?
by Dick Yarbrough
January 05, 2013 12:00 AM | 1137 views | 0 0 comments | 7 7 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Dick Yarbrough
Dick Yarbrough
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If you are looking for New Year’s resolutions today, look somewhere else. I don’t do macramé and I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. OK, if you want to get technical, maybe not doing resolutions is a resolution. I mention this only because if I don’t, Reader Bill will send me a sharp rejoinder. Reader Bill is the undisputed leader of my Loyal Opposition and one of my favorite critics.

Reader Bill says stuff like “aiguillette” and “perspicacity” when twitting me. Did I mention that Reader Bill is a graduate of Georgia Tech? It is a scientific fact that Tech people use big words to cover their insecurity at the lack of success their scholar-athletes have had competing in the sport of football with the scholar-athletes from the University of Georgia, the oldest state-chartered university in the nation, located in Athens, the Classic City of the South. Also, I don’t think they enjoy being reminded constantly that while we certainly do have many fine athletes, we also have scholars, as in 23 Rhodes scholars at UGA including four in the last six years. You-Know-Who has had four Rhodes Scholars. Period. This indicates that we also do academics quite well in Athens. Woof! Woof! (I’ll bet Reader Bill is tearing through the dictionary as we speak.)

The fact that I don’t need New Year’s resolutions to continue to live an exemplary life doesn’t mean that I can’t pass along some suggestions to others on how they can have a more meaningful and productive existence. After all, if one has perspicacity, shouldn’t one use it for the greater good of mankind? Otherwise, am I not just another drooping aiguillette?

Let me start by suggesting that Lee Jaraysi resolve to hotfoot it over to Chuck Clay’s office and apologize for trying to drag Mr. Clay into Jarasyi’s “It it Moves, Sue it” lawsuit over his now-defunct wedding chapel in Marietta. Mr. Clay is and long has been one of the outstanding citizens in our town and one of the nicest as well. Mr. Jaraysi also might resolve to read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” in the upcoming year. Rattling sabers at Chuck Clay isn’t the way to do it.

To anyone who voluntarily lives in Atlanta, I would propose you resolve not to tell us how much we need Atlanta. Unlike Malfunction Junction, our sewers work as do most of our citizens. Also, you can walk around downtown Marietta at night and not worry about getting harassed by panhandlers or mugged for your cell phone. Tell me again why we need Atlanta?

Maybe Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank will look around and see that the Dallas Cowboys don’t play in Dallas, the New York Jets don’t play in New York and that he doesn’t have to play in Atlanta.

He could resolve to build his stadium in Cobb County and know the toilets would flush. Just don’t ask for tax dollars for the project. The man has enough money in loose change to build the Taj Mahal.

It would be nice in the coming year if our legislators would resolve to treat public school teachers with the respect they deserve. I read that Rep. Earl Ehrhart (R-Powder Springs) might be working on something to help public education. If true, that would be refreshing. I hope he will share the information with me so that I can pass it along to you. Rep. Ehrhart authored the Private School Tax Credit Law, creating student scholarship organizations (SSO) that allow individuals and corporations to receive tax credits for donations to private schools but with scant public scrutiny. I like Earl Ehrhart but I’m not crazy about SSOs.

I will have more to say on this in a future column but to supporters of the Second Amendment (of which I am one. Write it down):

If you think having Rep.-elect Charles Gregory (R-Kennesaw) introduce legislation increasing gun rights before he is even sworn into office is a positive, you need to resolve to brush up on Politics 101. This guy has no credibility with his colleagues and I doubt seriously that he ever will after this stunt.

One gun-rights advocate suggested I read Gregory’s four bills carefully and that he would “patiently” await my reply.

OK, here ’tis: Reading these bills would be a monumental waste of my time because they aren’t going anywhere. Neither is Charles Gregory. Thank you for your patience.

As for the rest of you, I wish you good luck with the weight you resolve to lose, the sleep you plan to get and the projects you intend to start and finish in 2013. May you succeed beyond your wildest expectations. And don’t worry about perspicacity. I’ve got you covered like a braided aiguillette.

You can reach Dick Yarbrough at yarb2400@bellsouth.net or P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139.
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