RAP! RAP! RAP! “Good evening, gang. My name is Tim Franzen and I am proud to head up Occupy Whatever Floats Your Boat. This meeting will now come to order.”

“Boo! Hiss! We hate order! Down with order! Pffft! on order!”

“Listen, boys and girls. I’m as much against order as you are, but we’ve got to make some serious plans for our future. Otherwise, we might just find ourselves irrelevant and nobody will want us to occupy anything. If that happens, the media will quit paying attention to us and we’ll all have to go get jobs.”

“Boo! Hiss! We hate jobs! Down with jobs! Pffft! on jobs!”

“I agree, but we are at a crossroads here. Before we start, would somebody open a window? It is pretty clear that some of us could use a dip in Nickajack Creek and to introduce ourselves to a bar of soap, if you get my drift.”

“Boo! Hiss! We hate baths! Down with baths! Pffft! on baths!”

“Okay, but please don’t raise your arm to ask a question. Otherwise, I might have to occupy a gas mask. Now, let’s get down to business. ...”

“Boo! Hiss! We hate business. Down with business. Pffft! on business.”

“Geez, I should have seen that one coming. I meant let’s talk about our latest effort — Occupy A Wooded Neighborhood Near Kell High School. Yeah, I know that is a cumbersome title but, folks, these aren’t easy times. We used to be the lead story on the national networks, but we barely got eight column inches in the Marietta Daily Journal the other day. Yes, a question in the back? The little guy with the bow tie?”

“Yay! Let’s hear it for the squirt!” Clap! Clap! Clap!

“Mr. Franzen, my name is Figby. I was wondering why you picked Steve Boudreaux’s house in Cobb County to protest; I mean, besides the fact that you have nothing better to do with your time these days.”

“Wooo! This little guy is some kind of radacious!” Clap! Clap! Clap!

“Citizen Figby, Mr. Boudreaux is being unfairly targeted by big banks and ...”

“But, sir, isn’t it true that the bank worked for two years to help Mr. Boudreaux avoid foreclosure?”

“Yes but ...”

“And, sir, isn’t it true that the last thing a bank wants is a foreclosed property because they lose money?”

“They don’t? I mean, they do? ...”

“Maybe, just maybe, Mr. Boudreaux ought to deal with the consequences of the decisions he made instead of getting involved with people like you. Mr. Franzen, I have carefully examined your movement since its inception and you have accomplished nothing except to get your name in the paper.”

“Wait a minute, runt! Is that true? You say we’ve accomplished nothing? Franzen told us we would change history. That’s why we haven’t bothered to change our underwear. He said we didn’t have time. No wonder we need to hit Nickajack Creek!”

“Listen, folks. Figby doesn’t know what he is talking about. We are here at the invitation of Rich Pellegrino, of Cobb United for Change. This guy is a big-time protestor. One of the best.”

“With all due respect, sir, Mr. Pellegrino’s record of success isn’t any better than yours. He tried to make a name for himself supporting illegal aliens and nobody paid him any attention. So, now he has roped Occupy Whatever Floats Your Boat into being a part of Occupy A Wooded Neighborhood Near Kell High School. I am disappointed in you, sir. Only yesterday, you were the talk of the town when you were involved in Occupy Atlanta. Because of you, that was the most people that had been in Five Points after 8 P.M. since 1958.”

“Hey! The little guy has a point, Franzen. How come all the banks in Atlanta aren’t on their knees? And why are all the corporations still operating in the city? And where are MSNBC and Jesse Jackson? Instead, here we are in Cobb County where the local dogs use us as fire hydrants. This isn’t what we signed up for!”

“Now, listen! I am doing the best I can. For your information, I am working on a six-week gig to occupy Snellville and, if that is successful, we may go to Vegas and open for Streisand and then. ...”

“Boo! Hiss! In your dreams, Franzen! Pffft! on you, Franzen! Some leader you turned out to be. We’re headed to Nickajack Creek for a bath and a change of drawers and when we get back, you had better be some kind of outta here, dude. We want Figby! We want Figby!”

You can reach Dick Yarbrough at yarb2400@bellsouth.net or P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139.