I watch very little episodic television and never tune in to so-called reality shows, which aren't really real.
Producers merely outline scenes and let their "talent" - and I use that word loosely - act like idiots until viewers tire of their silly shenanigans and abandon them for newer, more bizarre fare.
Speaking of which, I can proudly say I have never watched "Duck Dynasty." And I never will. Short of blasting away at each other with their shotguns, there's nothing the Robertsons could do that remotely interests me.
If that makes me an "elitist," as MDJ columnist Roger Hines characterizes anyone not charmed by this grotesque clan of swamp dwellers or things like Cracker Barrel's "dumplins," then I enthusiastically plead guilty (Cracker Barrel may be the most ironically named restaurant chain in America, by the way).
For now, the antics of this bunch of backwater goobers have grabbed the attention of 14 million Americans. As the old saw goes, you'll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator, right Jerry Springer?
I don't understand or care about all the Duck Dynasty excitement. But I do understand why so many Americans were offended by what Phil Robertson had to say about gay people and biblical teachings in a GQ magazine interview.
I read the entire article. Not surprisingly, Robertson impressed me as an ignoramus, to use Mr. Hines' word, with very little exposure to the wider world so engrossed is he in whacking quacking water fowl, Fox News and religious fundamentalism.
Curiously, Phil Robertson reportedly earned a master's degree from Louisiana Tech, but evidently his education was confined to studying the religious mores of 14th century Europe when he wasn't violently acting out.
But this is the 21st century and my reading of the Bible tells me Jesus Christ loves everybody; straight, gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, black, white, brown, yellow, red, old, young, sick, healthy, bad, good, rich or poor.
Jesus doesn't care who you are. He just loves you. And, more important, Mr. Hines and you others who love to bash the LGBT community, He wants YOU to love all your brothers and sisters.
So I don't get how Robertson can say he turned his life over to Jesus Christ in one breath and condemn others in the next. It seems unchristian.
Years of medical research show pretty conclusively people are born the way they are. But if you accept that science, then according to Mr. Hines, it means God made a mistake. But what if God decided to make LGBT people to test our tolerance? Or what if there is no God and the world is just a happy or unhappy accident, depending on how it's treated you?
I don't expect the Duck Dynasty crowd or the adoring fans defending Phil Robertson's intolerant views to explore these deeper questions. It's far easier for self-described "traditionalists" to judge and demonize those they don't understand.
It's behavior as old as the Bible.